Please don't take it the wrong way if he says that a few minutes on the phone is more than he can handle. It sounds like she's already considered marrying you and raising children in the church even with you being out of the church. It would be foolish to acquiesce a Mormon girl to drink coffee. Other lazy Mormon girls turn feminist, many thousands of them. I would leave him note reminding him how important his work was. A good man is not defined by his religion and a great marriage is not defined by where it takes place.
In areas with lots of single Mormons of dating and marriageable age, the Church has established singles wards. There have been times in my marriage where I have been frustrated and angry by his lack of change. That is a reality you can't change. I can pray for and with my youngest daughter and bless her thru prayer. That settles it for me. BYU was once the perfect place to find a great young woman and get married. And yes, some people are unbelievably stupid about it. You have given me the courage to continue to protect my marriage and children. From someone else in the medical field - a nightly phone call would be seriously draining, even if it only lasted a few minutes.
Maybe things would be have different if I had been older or if I had not been so fragile. We still went on dates when we could, but it became less and less often. After a lot of thought during that relationship with a non-Mormon, I laid out exactly what struggles I was probably going to face: I was worried about my own faith. In her mind if you never accept the gospel you are denying her eternal exaltation as a God. He is absolutely, hands-down my favorite human being on the planet. Marriage to the wrong person is extremely difficult. Mormons have a well-known code of health, called the Word of Wisdom.
It seems like mormons in particular are even more crazy than the majority of crazy religious people, and the manipulation and treatment of people who wish to think for themselves and challenge their beliefs is really frightening. She was so sad over what she sacrificed it just haunted everyone on Reddit. I wish I know things better and would have taken a different path in life.